The Power Yes: How Top Leaders Thrive in Chaos by Reframing Boundaries
High-achievers navigating unpredictable landscapes are bombarded with competing priorities and escalating expectations. It's not just about managing change anymore—it's about thriving in a state of perpetual transformation. In this context, we need to fundamentally reconsider our approach to decision-making and commitment.
The Problem with "Just Say No"
Many of my clients really want to say no. The idea of saying no as a solution for overwhelm isn't new. Time management experts have long advocated for the importance of refusing commitments that don't align with our goals. Peter Drucker, a renowned management consultant, emphasized the importance of effective decision-making, which includes knowing when to decline opportunities. While this advice has merit, it often leads to a defensive posture, where we're constantly on guard against new commitments.
Research shows that this approach can have unintended consequences. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that framing decisions in terms of "saying no" can lead to decision fatigue and decreased willpower over time. This suggests that constantly being in a state of refusal might actually be draining our mental resources.
Getting Strategic with the Power Yes
Instead of focusing on what to refuse, what if we shifted our energy to carefully choosing what deserves our "yes"? This approach aligns with the concept of "essentialism" coined by Greg McKeown in his book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. McKeown argues that by focusing on the vital few instead of the trivial many, we can make our highest point of contribution.
Here's how to put this into practice:
Clarify Your Vision
Before you can say yes strategically, you need to know what truly matters to you. Take time to reflect on your core values, long-term goals, and what success looks like for you. Research from the Harvard Business Review suggests that leaders who have a clear sense of purpose are more resilient in the face of change and uncertainty. Coaching can help with this.
Align Your Yeses with Your Vision
Once you have clarity on your vision, use it as a filter for your commitments. When an opportunity arises, ask yourself: "Does this align with my core purpose and goals?" If it does, it might deserve your yes.
Practice the Positive No
Even when saying no is necessary, frame it in a positive light. William Ury, co-founder of Harvard's Program on Negotiation, introduced the concept of the "positive no" in his book The Power of a Positive No.
The "positive no" is a communication strategy that allows you to decline a request or opportunity while still maintaining positive relationships and affirming your own priorities. It consists of three parts:
Yes! (to yourself and your priorities)
No. (to the request)
Yes? (to the relationship or an alternative solution)
For example, if a colleague asks you to join a new project that doesn't align with your current priorities, a "positive no" response might look like this: "I appreciate you thinking of me for this project, and I'm committed to delivering excellent results on our current initiatives (Yes!). Unfortunately, I won't be able to take on this new project at this time (No.). However, I'd be happy to review the project outline and suggest some other team members who might be a great fit (Yes?)."
This approach allows you to affirm your priorities, clearly decline the request, maintain a positive relationship, and potentially offer an alternative solution.
Set Boundaries Within Your Yeses
Saying yes doesn't mean committing without limits. When you agree to something, be clear about the scope, timeline, and everyone's expectations. This allows you to say yes while still maintaining healthy boundaries.
Regularly Review and Reassess
Your priorities and circumstances will change over time. Schedule regular reviews of your commitments to ensure they still align with your vision. This proactive approach helps prevent overwhelm before it starts.
The Benefits of the Power Yes
By focusing on what we say yes to, rather than what we decline, we shift from a defensive to a proactive stance. This approach has several benefits:
Increased Engagement: Research shows that when we align our actions with our values and goals, we experience greater engagement and satisfaction (Deci & Ryan, 2000).
Enhanced Creativity: By saying yes to the right opportunities, we open ourselves up to new experiences that can fuel creativity and innovation (Amabile & Kramer, 2011).
Improved Resilience: A clear sense of purpose, reinforced by strategic yeses, can enhance our ability to navigate change and uncertainty (Southwick & Charney, 2018).
Better Relationships: When we say yes authentically, we build stronger, more genuine connections with others (Grant, 2013).
The Path Forward
The landscape of leadership has evolved beyond simple time management tactics. Executives and high-achievers must elevate their decision-making process to match the complexity of their roles. The "power yes" allows us to go beyond managing our calendars and architect a career and life that resonates with our core purpose.
Identifying and committing to high-impact opportunities allows us to actively shaping our professional—and personal—trajectory. This approach transforms how we engage with our work, our teams, and our long-term vision.
We are not talking about achieving perfect balance or eliminating stress. We are aiming to create a balanced life where stress serves as a catalyst for growth rather than a roadblock.
As you refine your power yes, you can leverage it to propel your career forward. This is how today's most effective leaders are redefining success—by being intentional about their commitments rather than reactive managers of demands.
The path forward is clear: Invest your time intentionally. Make your next "yes" your best yet.
“yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skilfully curled)
all worlds”